A Lump

A few days ago I was just about to leave work when I noticed a little lump on my jaw. Being the calm, reasonable individual I am, I immediately mushed the hell out of it just in case it was a spider bite. Had to make sure I squished it real good so none of the spider eggs would hatch because I really couldn’t handle itsy bitsy spiders crawling out of my chin.

That done, I then considered other options of what it could be. In the end I decided it’s probably tooth related even though nothing hurts. Well, either that or an extremely fast growing tumor. Come morning, I called the dentist to see if he could check to see if something’s going wrong. Nope, not that day. He’s already on his summer schedule and closed completely Wednesdays.

So today I called again and the receptionist worked me though not until after declaring that it’s the badness coming out of me. Hey, she’s known me since I was five. What can I say? I went and yep, I definitely have a lump. Not tooth related. He recommended warm compresses and to let it be for now. So she was right, it is the badness. Oh, I mushed it again, just for good measure in case it really is a nest of spiders growing in there.