There’s a woman at work who is having lap band surgery on Monday. In an attempt to be morally supportive I said I’d join her by restricting myself to her diet for the first six weeks. I detoxify myself on occasion anyway since I consume far too much processed sugar so it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Right?
Wrong! I was reading over the paperwork at lunch today and let me tell you. This is gonna suck. The next four pre-surgery days are clear liquids, no sugar, no caffeine. After surgery it’s two days of clear liquids, no sugar, no caffeine, no calories. She’s going to be fine with that. She’ll have had surgery and not want anything. I, on the other hand, am going to be starving!
There’s two weeks of clear liquids, then two weeks of plain liquids as in strained cream soups or gruel, and then two weeks of extremely soft stuff such as stage 1 or 2 baby foods. Yeah. What was I thinking?
Oh well, I said I’d do it and I will. It certainly won’t hurt me. And who knows? By the time this six weeks is up I might be prepared for Plan E – becoming a stripper. Hmm, perhaps not.
Wrong! I was reading over the paperwork at lunch today and let me tell you. This is gonna suck. The next four pre-surgery days are clear liquids, no sugar, no caffeine. After surgery it’s two days of clear liquids, no sugar, no caffeine, no calories. She’s going to be fine with that. She’ll have had surgery and not want anything. I, on the other hand, am going to be starving!
There’s two weeks of clear liquids, then two weeks of plain liquids as in strained cream soups or gruel, and then two weeks of extremely soft stuff such as stage 1 or 2 baby foods. Yeah. What was I thinking?
Oh well, I said I’d do it and I will. It certainly won’t hurt me. And who knows? By the time this six weeks is up I might be prepared for Plan E – becoming a stripper. Hmm, perhaps not.
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