Home Again

I was only gone a few days. Really, that’s it. But today I stopped to pick up a few things at the store only to find they’re rearranging the whole damn thing! Nothing was where I left it.

I’m not the most conscious individual. Wait, that’s not quite right. Things that interest me I am very aware of and pay attention to the tiniest detail, absorbing as many nuances as I can discover. Nonsense, like where items are in a store doesn’t fit in that category. They should be where they belong without having to worry about whether or not they’ve shifted around since I was last there.

I’m much more interested in something like the banister I found while I was away. I’m sorry that the picture doesn’t begin to do it justice. Isn’t it cool?

Surprise!

I popped in on Ellora’s Cave Romanticon this weekend. I wanted to meet the incredible people that I spend all my spare time talking to. But I didn’t tell them I was coming.

Ooh, was it fun, introducing myself and seeing their reactions! Regina Carlysle is gorgeous. She’s even sweeter and funnier in person. That's us in the pic. Bronwyn Green is absolutely adorable. Anny Cook is exactly as expected, wise, kind and full of Zen. Kelly Kirch just bubbled with fun. Desiree Holt was pleasant as can be. Cindy Spencer Pape is the coolest. Kathleen Coddington and Kathy Kulig were spectacular but I’d met them before. They’re fairly local to me but it was still great to see them again. I’m sure I’m missing someone and for that, I apologize.

I also met a bunch of the EC staff. Folks, you put on quite an event and I’m once again honored to be associated with you. I can’t wait for the next one! Ooh, my editor was in all the way from Australia. Meeting her alone would have made it well worth the drive. H, you’re simply lovely and I’m thrilled to have a face and voice to go with the emails.

Oh yeah, the EC Cavemen… Whew! ‘Nuff said, right?

On to the rest of my little adventure. Pittsburgh to discuss poetry and life with the esteemed Cutter Murdoch. Have you read him yet? Why not? Click here. You’ll be happy you did. No one can create a whirlwind of imagery quite like Cutter can.

Today's Revelation

I had the occasion to go for a bit of a drive today. Once outside of Reading I made a discovery. It’s fall! The primary color this year seems to be brilliant fire orange. Gorgeous! I’ve gotten so bogged down by life lately that I’d forgotten how beautiful the countryside in Pennsylvania actually is. I’m guessing there’s another full week of prime foliage.

Come visit!

Busy Busy Busy

Lots to Do

Bouncing off the walls
Ziggedy zag, zaggedy zig
A whirling dervish has nothing on me

Ping beep swish zing
Whirl twirl swirl
Makes the Tasmanian devil seem slow as can be

Kitten hops
Puppy skids
Worse than a sugared up kid

Pull the slot handle
Spin the roulette wheel
Faster, faster never to slow

Flight of the bumble bee
Gene Kelly tapping
Nowhere close to my tempo

Six Million Dollar Man burning up the street
Outracing the Road Runner
They’re standing still as I fly by

Rushing here
Dashing there
Much to do, much to do

Gotta get it all done
Now right now
And then the fun…

Ah, sigh…

Whew…

Begun

Short & Sweet

I stumbled across the most amazing woman today. In the oddest of places. An unexpected treasure to be sure, especially after such a non-stellar rest on my day. We had a truly enjoyable conversation that has, at least for the moment, restored my faith in humanity. M, if you’ve stopped by and are reading this, my sincerest thanks. You made my day!

Learned Some Things Today

And I did it while reading a Guns & Ammo magazine.

The first thing I learned is that I’m too soft-hearted to read this sort of magazine. I understand the necessity of using strategic hunts and quotas as a population control method for the good of the species as a whole. Yes, I really do. And, as long as all parts of the kill are put to valid use I don’t have a problem with it. That said, I don’t want to know anything more about sanctioned elephant kills than I do now. In fact, I wish I didn’t know what I do.

The other thing I learned is what kind of pistol I want. I’ve had a gun permit for a gazillion years. I got it once when I was serving jury duty. Any of you who have ever had that experience know how much downtime there is. Filling out the form was a way of passing the time. Once I had it, the laws began to change, making it more difficult to obtain a permit so I continue to renew mine. I never really had any intention of owning a gun. I still don’t. But, on the off chance I ever change my mind, I now know what to look for. A Taurus PT132. It’s small enough for my hand and doesn’t take a whole hell of a lot of strength to fire it. And it kinda cute too! What? Isn’t that how you pick out a handgun? By the cuteness factor?

I didn’t quite finish the magazine so you’re likely to hear more about this tomorrow. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

I Confess

I’m a carnivore. There. I’ve said it.

Over the weekend as I was doing my marathon living room cleaning, I had the TV on for background noise. Old musicals are perfect to clean by. When the movies I chose were over I couldn’t be bothered to select more so I switched over to TV. Nothing I wanted to listen to as I worked so I left it on the Travel Channel. Big mistake!

I ended up torturing myself by viewing Steak Paradise, Barbeque Paradise and Rib Paradise. Now, two days later, I’m still wanting some of each. Nope, Lucky Charms are not an acceptable substitute. If I were independently wealthy I would follow those guys around and eat all the yummy things they featured. Of course I would also have my personal trainer traveling with me so I didn’t look like I ate all that food but that’s for another day.

So what’s for dinner?

Whoopdedoo!

I reclaimed my living room over the weekend. I’ve been ignoring it lately. (Forever!) I have to write. Since I have yet to win the lottery I really can’t neglect the day job. Sleeping, though I don’t do as much of that as I probably should, is still necessary. Therefore, something had to slide. (Sorting through junk mail.)

I know you’re thinking deal with it on a daily basis and it wouldn’t get that bad. Yes, I agree. But you see I went of strike a bit ago, nope, not telling when that was, and it kind of accumulated. (Long, vicious story.) I was content with it there for the longest time. And then one day last week I decided it had to go. All of it!

While I was purging I decided to dispose of assorted trinkety things too. I didn’t want them when I received them. (A pink and white meowing cat clock when my house has always been decorated with gargoyles). My lack of fondness for them didn’t diminish over the years. Fortunately for me, I live next door to people with grandchildren who scarf up trinkety stuff. They were thrilled with my numerous trips into their living room to inquire whether they might like to possess whatever it was I was on the verge of tossing.

After two days of this search and destroy mission I’m happy to report it’s as good as it’s going to get and I think I can live with it now. I could use a new carpet but nope, not spending another penny on this house. It’s clean and that’ll have to do. I despise the entertainment center (not my idea to have it in the first place) but it would need to be replaced with something and again, not spending money on things for this house, not even furnishings. Same goes for the desk although that may make its way next door one day soon.

Next up – the kitchen! I wonder how my neighbors feel about assorted weird foodstuffs.

Guiness Anyone?

Trumperious Solemnities

Sundry proclivities
Odiferous redolencies
Picayunish gratuities
Transitory perpetuities
Preposterous tranquilities
Anonymous animosities
Ordinary catastrophes
Extraordinary blasphemies
Harmonious cacophonies
Preposterous tranquilities
Cantankerous compositries
Pacificatory bellicosities
Solicitous absurdities
Righteous atrocities
Felicitous repugnancies
Incongruous congruities

Payable To...

Why, me of course. Who else would you even consider paying your taxes to on the property you can now acquire on either the moon or Mars? An acre of land on either begins at the low low price of $29.99. What you’ll find later in the small print however, is that there’s a 38.7% tax rate of assessed value on all celestial real estate. In case you’re wondering the value does indeed skyrocket once the paperwork is in your hot little mitts. And that’s before you develop your property! Just wait until you see what the rate goes up to once you start doing that.

And oh yeah, there’s also the monthly maintenance fee that is not optional. It costs more than the land did to begin with, I assure you. Yep, you guessed it. Again, that’s payable to me. Don’t worry. I’ll give you documentation that matches the deed to your property so you can prove you’re paid up on everything and not end up having your parcel repossessed.

Additionally you’ll need to fork over great chunks of cash, ha, me again, for the standard protection fee. You wouldn’t want any intergalactic poachers squatting on your spot, now would you? But we won’t discuss the cost of that now. Don’t want to dissuade you from your purchase. That would kind of defeat things for me.

What? You thought it was really as cheap as the price advertised? Come on. You should know better than that by now. Of course you should also know that you really can’t legitimately purchase chunks of the moon or Mars no matter what the people selling it say so yeah, pay your taxes and other assorted fees to me.