Nope, Not Me

Warning: This blog contains content that may not be suitable for everyone.

I watched a documentary called Perfect Private Parts. As you may guess it was about vaginal cosmetic surgery. The woman who undertook the making of the show did so in order to understand why women dislike their parts so much that they’re willing to undergo such a procedure, in particular young women.

One thing that was recommended prior to jumping straight to surgery is to have a cast made of yourself. That way you can see your vagina’s true size and shape in all its 3D glory. Another pre-surgery suggestion was to participate in a group where women get together and study first themselves and then each other. The point being to show that we come in all different shapes and sizes and all are equally acceptable.

If a woman is determined to go through with this mutilation, they go and consult a vaginal plastic surgeon who will then critique her form, giving their opinions on her aesthetic beauty. They then pour through pictures from which the woman can select what she’s aiming for with surgery, should she opt to have it.

The presenter went so far as to ask the men she had in to paint her house how they would describe the perfect vagina. They were very candid with her on their preferences. One favored clean shaven with tucked in lips, the other liked hair with firm lips. They went on to say some elements of sex are all about presentation. I had to wonder if that included presentation of their own dangly bits as well.

The girl who was profiled was in her late teens. She was determined to have the surgery because she’s had men comment on how unattractive her labia appeared. This is where I had a big problem. As far as I’m concerned if someone is going to make fun of my privates that’ll be the last time he sees both me and them. Sorry but no way in hell am I being nipped and tucked for some asshole who taunted me. He’d be damn lucky I didn’t kick him at that point, especially if he suggested chopping of some of my flesh to suit him. Just my opinion, of course. You’re welcome to share yours.

Sorry. Back to the girl in question. After undergoing what seemed to be an extremely painful procedure while awake and screaming, she stood around, unable to sit or close her legs comfortably for weeks while her incisions continued to bleed because the labial skin was stretched so tightly from being swollen and having so much removed. And then she had to go back to have the stitches removed. Have you ever had stitches removed? Oh my God, I don’t even want to think about that one. In the end, she said she was pleased that she had the surgery. Not that I’m not happy for her but really, I still have to wonder at her motivation. I think it shows just how screwed up some women are when it comes to the importance of body image.

The program ending with the organizer sitting with her infant daughters. She declared that she would put aside her personal discomfort in order to ensure that they were accepting of the bodies they were born with once they’re old enough to discuss the matter. She said love yourself as you are, be happy and tell anyone who criticizes you to go away.

Your assignment now, ladies, should you chose to accept, is to get out your mirrors and have a good long look. Are you okay with what you see or are you off to the nearest plastic surgeon? If you choose to do that, please report your experiences back to us. Guys, you get an assignment too. Nope, no way am I letting you off the hook. Tell us, if you would, do you have an ideal appearance that you search for when seeking a partner for sex? Will a certain look make you decline once you reach the point of seeing her parts up close and personal? Enquiring minds want to know.