A Question

Alkaline hydrolysis. Currently a little accepted eco-friendly alternative to cremation. So rare, in fact, that the one funeral home in Ohio that has been using the process has been ordered to stop. At the moment, the only places approved to utilize this method for the disposal of cadavers used in scientific research are the Mayo Clinic, the University of Florida, and the University of Southern California. It is legal in Florida though no businesses have a license to perform it just yet.

Here’s how it works. The body is tucked into an over-sized pressure cooker with a solution of water and potassium hydroxide. It is heated for at least three hours. This causes the corpse to dissolve into a liquid which is treated and is then safe to pour away without contaminating water supplies. The whole process is pollution free as it does not emit any of the greenhouse gases that cremation does.

Okay. So I propose we store up the liquid instead of disposing of it immediately. Save it in the event of a drought in the region surrounding the funeral home. Use it to water food crops. Which leads to my question. If I die, get liquefied and am used to water a tomato plant, does that then make you a cannibal for eating the fruit?