Dictionary.com
defines defibrillator [dee-fahy-bruh-ley-ter, -fib-ruh-] /diˈfaɪ brəˌleɪ
tər, -ˈfɪb rə-/ as noun, Medicine/Medical
1. an agent or device for arresting fibrillation
of the atrial or ventricular muscles of the heart.
Do you
know what that is? I’m sure you do. You must have seen one of those medical
dramas at some point in your life where someone passes out, the staff rips the
person’s shirt open, they slap paddles on him, yell “charging” and “clear” and
then zap him back among the living while he flops around like a fish out of
water. Yeah, you know exactly what I’m
talking about.
If you’ve
lived in a cave for the past dozen years with no contact to modern technology
you many not know that there are now things called AEDs. “An automated external defibrillator (AED)
is a portable
electronic device that automatically diagnoses the life-threatening cardiac arrhythmias
of ventricular fibrillation and ventricular tachycardia in a patient, and is
able to treat them through defibrillation, the application of electrical
therapy which stops the arrhythmia, allowing the heart to reestablish an
effective rhythm.”
Many, many
places now have these gizmos onsite, including where I work. One of the things I do is purchase the fancy
batteries that keep these machines operational.
They are extremely expensive and have a definite, limited shelf life so
they are not stocked by any of the local medical supply people. Understandable and in a perfect world that
would be no problem. AEDs warn you when
the batteries are getting low. Cool,
right? It would be if people had enough
sense to mention that the soon-to-be-non-functional equipment was emitting an
even more annoying beep than a smoke alarm going bad. Had they done so I wouldn’t have spent a good
chunk of time this morning phoning around, attempting to locate one even though
I knew better. I guess not everyone hears that sound as I do.
I did
speak with a very pleasant woman at the Red Cross who actually called the
manufacturer’s rep to try to help me obtain a new battery immediately. No luck
but the rep did mention that Wal-Mart has begun carrying their AEDs though she
wasn’t sure if they also had batteries or not.
Okay. I called one of the local
superstores. I was transferred to the
pharmacy department. So far, so
good. I explained what I wanted and was
asked if a defibrillator was part of a toothbrush. Um.
No. So I was passed off to
electronics who had no clue what I was talking about and said no, try somewhere
else.
The second
Wal-Mart superstore in the area said, “Oh, that’s an auto part, just a moment,
I’ll transfer you.” I attempted to
explain and was promptly put on hold.
Many minutes later she came back and told me, “They were all gone.” Click.
Yeah, I’m fairly certain she was clueless as well.
I threw in
the towel and ordered online like I usually do when given proper warning of the
battery going dead. We do have more than
one unit, so we’re still okay. It’s not
urgently urgent even though it is nicer and less stressful, should the AED ever
actually be needed, to have one right at your fingertips but I’m sure we’re
perfectly capable of dealing with it should it become necessary.
My
point. If you’re in danger of having a
medical emergency don’t go to Wal-Mart.
I seriously doubt the staff there knows where their AED is located, let
alone how to use it. On the other hand,
they may try reviving you with an electric toothbrush or jumpstarting you with
a car battery and then, should you survive, you’d have quite a tale to tell
your grandchildren.
Happy
weekend, all. Oh wait. It’s only Wednesday. Two more days to go. Sigh…
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