Friday, October 29, 2010

Have a Happy!

I spent the past two days listening to the soundtrack to The Nightmare Before Christmas. I'm sure my coworkers are getting just a tad sick of it. Do I care? Nope. Not one bit. I'm still enjoying it. So much so I may let it play in the background all day Monday too. Hey. My office. I don't have it playing loud. The lyrics aren't offensive. If it's becoming bothersome they all have their own spaces they could retreat to. Of course by now it's too late. This song is stuck in their heads. Here. Have a listen. I want it stuck in yours too.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Decision Time

Hmm. Reuben sandwich with the girls or write a real blog? Choose a topic, research if necessary, write and post a real blog or nummy reuben sammich with enjoyable conversation and fun people?

Yeah, you know which I picked. Back tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


My great aunt made the decision to move into a nursing home last week. I say “made” only because she’s the one who finally came out and said it. There really is no alternative. She’s 94 and in the last two months has lost the ability to get around on her own. She had some physical therapy for a few weeks but they decided it won’t help, thus her need for an alternative to living alone.

She’s been in this apartment for over 25 years. Seeing her leave it is very, very sad. The social worker at the home thinks she may be a touch depressed over the whole thing. Um, yeah, me too. She’s leaving her home and all the things that have provided her comfort over the years and losing her independence all at once. I’m depressed too just thinking about it.

The idea of her sitting in a chair, staring at nothing like she has been hurts. She’s lost all interest in reading, so odd seeing her without a book nearby. On the rare occasion she bothers switching on the tv she watches without sound. She’s stopped participating in any of the activities the home offers, things she joined in on before when she was there for stints of physical therapy. She barely talks when I visit, as if all her stories have been locked inside, no longer meant for sharing. Yeah. As I said, seeing her like this hurts.

I would do anything possible to make this easy on her, cheer her up in any way I could. But I don’t know what to do. I’m not ever sure there is anything I can do. I’ve made sure she knows I’m here. I guess that’s about all that’s left now.

Monday, October 25, 2010

I Missed Something

The hiccup girl was back in the news today. The local radio station did a whole bit on how she went five weeks back in 2007 for hiccupping up to 55 times a minute, pretty much non-stop. No matter what she tried, nothing helped. Eventually, the hiccups faded away on their own and the girl ended up doing some media things.

Today’s story wrapped up with the reporter stating the girl is now nineteen and back in the news for killing someone during a robbery. She’s been arrested for first-degree murder which won’t be as easily remedied as the hiccups. Yep, they really did say that.

I’m horrified at the way the whole thing was treated. This is someone’s life that was taken that they’re talking about so flippantly. And I’m not entirely sure I understand the correlation. Did having never-ending hiccups do something to her mind that made her think a few years later that it is okay to rob and murder someone? Or is hiccupping a warning indicator of future malevolence? No, I really don’t get their point. Perhaps you could explain it to me.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Happy Weekend!

Thursday, October 21, 2010


I are zombie.

I are not happy.

I are supposed to double the dosage in a few days.

I are wondering which of you pooled your pennies and paid off my head doc to do this to me.

I are going to find out. You know I are.

I are warning you that when I do...


Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Someone, rather something, bit off a chunk of my ear. No, not today. I have no idea when it happened other than before when I began to remember. I asked my mother and she doesn’t know. Actually, she didn’t even know a smidge of my ear is missing. But that issue is for another blog.

I suspect it was done by whatever it was that lived in the attic above my room when I was a very small child. I’ve told you about that room, remember? How there were holes in the ceiling with coverings that were in place when I went to sleep but moved when I woke up in the morning?

Anyway, it’s just a small area that’s missing, like something tiny nipped me. It had to be tiny since I was a tiny child myself when it happened. If something large had bitten me my whole ear would be gone. Or perhaps I’m thinking about this entirely wrong. Maybe isn’t a bite. Maybe I was marked for some reason, tagged. Makes me wonder.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Happy Squirrel Month!

For those of you who don’t know, and I’m sure it’s all but a few, and aren’t already in the midst of celebrating, October is Squirrel Awareness and Appreciation Month.

To honor our bushy-tailed buddies I urge you to become a member of the Squirrel Lover’s Club. Founded in 1995 by Greg Bassett after a close encounter with a fox squirrel while visiting the Grand Canyon, the Squirrel Lover’s Club is an organization for people who believe squirrels matter. There are thousands of members world-wide who have united because they care about the well-being and humane treatment of squirrels.

Membership includes a bi-monthly newsletter which features stories, photographs, poetry, advice and resources for the squirrel lover. Poets get your pens moving and send off your tributes to your favorite squirrel. Photographers, get out there. We want to see your furry friends.

If you find an orphaned or injured squirrel, you can go the Squirrel Lover’s Club website for advice, including how to release the critter back into the wild once you’ve nursed it back to health though they do strongly recommend leaving that to a wildlife rehabilitator instead of undertaking it yourself. Remember, squirrels, cute and tamable as they are, are still wild critters, not house pets.

You’ll be most pleased to learn there is also a store with all your squirrely odds and ends. I know you just can’t wait to stock up.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Ninja Bitch Alert

I woke up grumpy today. Oh hell, it was more than that. Flat out bitch if I’m being truthful. I don’t do that often and there was no discernable reason for it. I was just pissed at the world and ready to turn ninja with the slightest provocation. Of which there was a lot in the first few hours this morning. Not a good thing, trust me. I walked around plotting wicked, evil, very painful demises, some quick, some not, for many I encountered at the start of my day.

And then I wandered off to visit my head doc, a generally entertaining experience. Fortunately he improved my day. Well, sort of. I was no longer furious with the world after chatting with him but something we discussed did leave me a little sad and no, I don’t really want to talk about it. On the migraine medication front, there’s no new and oh so wonderful cure-all but we’ve decided it’s time to try something else that sometimes works for other people. Side effects? Of course. There’s always a tradeoff, isn’t there?

I’ve been a tad resistant to trying this in the past because it’s likely to turn me into a zombie but I’m tired of my head hurting more often than not. This zombiness could be good in some ways – I won’t wake up ready to garrote certain individuals or, if I do, I won’t have the gumption to act on it. Bad in that well, I’ll be a zombie on an on-going basis. I don’t think I’m going to like that but we’ll see. Not being in pain sure would be nice for a change but I’d also like to know I’m not in pain so I could enjoy it.

Friday, October 15, 2010


i’m feeling restless out of sync off balance out of sorts or the lopsy lyles as my dad used to say and i’m hungry but i don’t want anything i have at home and i can’t find anything i want delivered and i don’t really feel like going anywhere not that i could decide where i wanted to go anyway so if i’m staying home i should go change into my sweats since its chilly in here today which means it’s maybe time to close the windows at least most of the way but it’s supposed to be sunny this weekend and then i’d just end up opening them again so why bother but if i go upstairs i’ll probably flop on the bed and end up falling asleep which it’s way too early to do and i’d just wake up really hungry in a few hours so i should eat first but again i’m too antsy to deal with that so maybe i’ll work on the project i’m working on but it needs concentration that i don’t have at the moment so i could maybe read some of the book i started last weekend but it’s upstairs and if i go up there i won’t come back down which means i should blow out the candle i just lit but i don’t want to because it smells nice and i’m thinking it would be nice if i had tv today because then i could curl up on the sofa with a cover and watch something mindless but i don’t so i’d need to choose a movie which i have plenty to choose from but i can’t be bothered so maybe i’ll just go to be after all so have a good weekend and maybe i’ll be back to making slightly more sense next week or maybe not but i doubt any of you are still reading at this point so it doesn’t much matter anyway.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Today's Lesson

A few years ago the city council of a town in Italy barred people from keeping their goldfish in curved bowls. Their reasoning – doing so is cruel to the goldfish as it gives them a distorted view of reality.

There are several problems with this. How was this cruelty determined? With the varying shapes of goldfish and the positioning of their eyes, might not a curved bowl actually be better for them than flat surfaces with square corners? Has extensive testing been completed in both environments with the goldfish responding to numerous questionnaires?

There was some discussion on how the brain interprets visuals. In one study, it was proven that it is capable of adjusting distorted images so what is seen is that which is considered true. So. Goldfish have brains. Perhaps they too can compensate for the curve and see things outside of their bowls as how we see them to be true, through a barrier, rounded or not. And what about blind goldfish? Curved bowls would certainly be more environmentally friendly to them than a square container. But I digress.

Next. The view from within the bowl is not the same as from without. Goldfish residing in curved bowls their entire lives could formulate their own specific scientific laws regarding objects they can see moving about outside of their bowls. Although we might deem their view distorted, it is the only view they have. Therefore, the laws they determine are the ones that will always be true from their viewpoint and the only ones applicable. Ours simply do not apply within their reality. Oh, ours are true too, just not to the goldfish.

Additionally, if these goldfish are clever enough to formulate their own laws of relativity I find it highly unlikely that they’d still be living in a little town in Italy in any sort of bowl, curved or not. If they can come up with all that, we’d probably be living in air pockets at the bottom of their ponds with them swimming around outside, keeping us as pets. I wonder what shape they’d make our containers.

One last thing. What the hell possessed those people on that city council to consider this long enough to dictate to their citizens how to house their goldfish?

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Read Me Out Loud

(Creepy as you can.)

Inky slinky don’t dare blinky
Oily coily rum tum boily
Warn you once
Warn you twice
Draw the line at warning you thrice

Dangly fangly time to mangly
Seeny greeny oh so meany
Run for life
Fast as you can
Mess your pants you still a man

Stumble fumble lost in jumble
Wicked kicked in the thicket
Down you go
One last chance
Get up now or never again dance

Choppy loppy lose head toppy
Grippy snippy now you drippy
That was it
Warned you did
Now you stuffed in box with lid

Told ya kulled ya should a sold ya
Killed ya milled ya and I billed ya
Serves you right
No do what said
Now you gone deserve to be dead

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


I heard the funniest thing today. It was one of those little information moments on the radio. Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant as a joke. The suggestion to help you become more productive is to “schedule” an interruption break and set everything that comes along aside until that time. Hahahahahaha! No, really. That’s their BIG idea.

In theory, it doesn’t sound like such a bad one. In practice however, they’re clueless. Or have never worked in the real world a day in their lives. The thought that everyone will just happily agree and return at a specified later time is too much.

Okay, wait. Perhaps I’m mistaken. Perhaps that is realistic and will occur without a hitch. Perhaps it’s just me and the places I’ve worked where that’s not at all practical. Telling one’s boss not to interrupt for oh maybe five hours would just not do. No, not at all.

What about you? Would this fly where you work? Oh they also recommended moving your computer to a location other than your desk and only using it when absolutely necessary. As I said, hahahahahahaha!

Monday, October 11, 2010

Chocolate Extinct?

Roughly 1500 years ago, the Mayans domesticated cacao trees and began making chocolate. Due to a variety of fungal diseases, cacao trees are virtually nonexistent in Central America, its native habitat. Cacao is now grown in other parts of the world, predominantly West Africa. Scientists are having a race against time to try and develop disease resistant trees before the fungus reaches that area. If they fail, it is estimated that thirty to seventy percent of total global production could be lost. Personally, I find this very alarming. Time to stock up.

Did you know squids can fly? Neither did I. But they can. Sort of. Marine biologists have caught them in the act of propelling themselves out of the sea and then using their fins as wings to fly up to nearly forty feet, almost fifty times their eight-inch body length, sometimes nine feet above the water’s surface. This happens solo, in packs and at times, with enough force to match the speed of boats. Can you imagine zipping along the ocean and suddenly having a bunch of squid flying beside you? I love the thought of that! Not quite enough to make up for the impending loss of chocolate but it’s still making me smile.

On the “Get a Life” front, there’s now a corkscrew called the Electric Rabbit. Nope, corkscrew wasn’t exactly my first thought when I saw the heading either. It’s reported to be compact, up to three inches shorter than other electric corkscrews. For the low, low price of $49.95 it comes complete with a display that shows how many more bottles you can uncork before it needs recharging. Hmm. Does anyone else find this a tad scary or is it just me?

Friday, October 8, 2010

I Was Bad

I looked out my window at work this morning, as I do most mornings to see how pretty the petunias are, only to find a hole in the midst of them. Something’s been burrowing in my flowers.

The hole is currently about six inches across so it’s most likely a baby groundhog. Either that or perhaps a meerkat. I glanced out occasionally but didn’t catch any critters peeking back at me. Probably busy settling in since the hole wasn’t there yesterday. Prairie dogs would be nice. They’re fun to watch so I wouldn’t mind sharing the yard with a family of them.

Years ago I separated my yucca plants and passed a few on to a coworker. (It’s time again. Want some?) Anyway, they grew and holes started appearing around the base of the plants. The girl I gave them to asked if I had a guess as to what they were from and I instantly declared prairie dogs, followed with the logic that yuccas originate in the dessert so they attract them even in regions where prairie dogs don’t naturally live.

A few weeks later she came back and informed me that she’d been watching diligently but had yet to spy one. Unfortunately someone overheard her and questioned her as to why she would ever think she’d find prairie dogs in her yard. Yeah, you can imagine what happened next. Some people just love to spoil my fun.

Happy weekend!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Don't Go in the Corn!

Yep, it’s that time again – time for me to issue my annual reminder against willingly wandering around in cornfields.

How many times do I need to say it? Walking through corn is just plain wrong! Do it often enough and one of these times you won’t come out the other end. Nor will you ever be heard from again. You’ll become one of those “Do you remember…” stories. Is that what you need to keep you from going into the corn, someone you know to be taken? Perhaps it is. Since you seem so unwilling to take my word on it.

The man who rents the field next to my mother’s house has planted corn there the last few summers. It wasn’t quite as bad this year. With it being so dry the corn isn’t near as tall as it was other years. So frickin’ what? I haven’t been there since it got to be waist high and I have no intention of returning until after it’s harvested. Call me paranoid if you choose but we’ll see which of us is still around once the corn starts swallowing people up.

I know you don’t believe me but corn is evil. The stalks that is. The ears are fine once they’re picked. In fact, I truly enjoy corn on the cob. When it’s not overcooked but that’s a different ramble. It’s only stalks en masse that present a problem. Doesn’t matter if they’re dried or green, they’re creepy. They move about, shifting at will. Oh not so much that you can actually catch them in the act. Just a teeny tiny bit now and then when you’re not looking. If you ignore them long enough you will be trapped, cut off from any avenue of escape and then you’re in for it. You may as well get it over with and kill yourself on the spot. Hey, better that than what’s in store for you if the corn gets you.

Don’t laugh. I’m dead serious here. But okay, don’t listen. Go wander through a cornfield in you must. All in the name of fun, right? Anyway, it’s been nice knowing you. Bet I’m your last thought as the corn closes in on you.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Pardon My Rant

But I’m fairly annoyed and feel the need to bitch. If you don’t want to hear it, then stop reading now and come back tomorrow.

I had the occasion to be somewhere, in close quarters, with not one but two supposedly professional people first thing this morning. People whose occupations put them in the position of literally impacting others’ lives. Yeah, serious stuff here.

It wasn’t bad enough that they were both openly disinterested. As in seemingly bored by the whole thing they were doing. To the point of being rude. And when questioned, because yes, I do ask questions when I’m out and about and have them, became borderline hostile, like I shouldn’t be taking up their time with something so trivial as my life. No, that wasn’t bad enough. They were also both chewing gum. Loudly. Very smelly fruity gum.

Getting the picture? Or do you need more? Okay. Remember, I get migraines? Which can be severely aggravated by scents, especially yucky scents. And stressful situations, say like my doctor ordering some sort of potentially life-altering test. And then, let’s say some unknown doctor cancels half the test, seeing no need for it without even speaking to me in person. And, oh yeah, sends bored, uninterested, gum-popping, sighing technician flunky to tell me. Who then has the audacity to attempt to ignore me when I have the nerve to question said faceless doctor’s decision.

My head still hurts. A lot. My regular doctor was involved all day so I have yet to speak with her about any of this. And I’m really not looking forward to going back to the testing folks which, sooner or later, I will end up doing. Yeah, not at all a good day.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Amazing Critters

Beau had a big adventure Friday. He went off to the vet’s and was neutered. And had to spend the night. I’m not sure which of us had more trouble with that one. Hard to sleep when something’s missing that you’re used to.

I went to pick him up and was told how talkative he was the entire time he was there. Huh? At home, he doesn’t usually make a peep. Or he didn’t. Now that he’s back he talks constantly. I suspect he’s complaining about being mistreated. I hope it continues once he’s finished with that. I miss having a cat that talks.

Kya spent the weekend babying Beau. Every time she curled up he’d snuggle against her and get his face washed. What a change from their usual tumbling across the floor, knocking over everything in their path!

Friday, October 1, 2010

What A Difference

I had a few minutes between things to wander today so I went out to Lake Ontelaunee. Here's how the dam looked today. As I mentioned yesterday we had a very dry summer in this area. Probably a good thing. With the water levels of everything being so low the flooding wasn't near as bad as expected. Not here at least.

More to do so have a great weekend!