Yup

I are zombie.

I are not happy.

I are supposed to double the dosage in a few days.

I are wondering which of you pooled your pennies and paid off my head doc to do this to me.

I are going to find out. You know I are.

I are warning you that when I do...

Hahahahaha!

Ninja Bitch Alert

I woke up grumpy today. Oh hell, it was more than that. Flat out bitch if I’m being truthful. I don’t do that often and there was no discernable reason for it. I was just pissed at the world and ready to turn ninja with the slightest provocation. Of which there was a lot in the first few hours this morning. Not a good thing, trust me. I walked around plotting wicked, evil, very painful demises, some quick, some not, for many I encountered at the start of my day.

And then I wandered off to visit my head doc, a generally entertaining experience. Fortunately he improved my day. Well, sort of. I was no longer furious with the world after chatting with him but something we discussed did leave me a little sad and no, I don’t really want to talk about it. On the migraine medication front, there’s no new and oh so wonderful cure-all but we’ve decided it’s time to try something else that sometimes works for other people. Side effects? Of course. There’s always a tradeoff, isn’t there?

I’ve been a tad resistant to trying this in the past because it’s likely to turn me into a zombie but I’m tired of my head hurting more often than not. This zombiness could be good in some ways – I won’t wake up ready to garrote certain individuals or, if I do, I won’t have the gumption to act on it. Bad in that well, I’ll be a zombie on an on-going basis. I don’t think I’m going to like that but we’ll see. Not being in pain sure would be nice for a change but I’d also like to know I’m not in pain so I could enjoy it.

A Glimpse

Migraine – Day 47

My head has hurt so long I don’t remember what it feels like no to. Even though it’s marginally cooler and less humid today it’s still in the upper 80’s so no real relief in sight. Warmer tomorrow. Back to hazy, hot and horrible the rest of the week.

I didn’t sleep again last night. I can’t remember the last time I did. Not a peaceful, restful sleep. As awful as not sleeping is, it’s still better than screaming myself awake multiple times a night as I’ve done far too often this summer.

It’s really starting to bother me. I find myself staring off into space at the oddest times, thinking about nothing. I think zombiness is setting in. At least I haven’t wandered off yet, though more and more I’m feeling like I might without meaning to. Maybe I should pin one of those “Lost. If Found Return To” notes to myself.

My frustration level is growing, as is my grumpiness factor. Perhaps it’s good I am zombiish. If I weren’t I’d more than likely be snapping at people for no reason. Better go into hiding anyway. At least when the zombis invade I’ll have no trouble blending in. I suppose that’s one good thing about all this.

I’m becoming exhausted from the effort it’s taking to appear normal. Even speech is a chore that’s rapidly seeming not worth the bother. Weekends should be longer. I don’t talk then and it’s nice.

The cats must sense that things aren’t quite right. Usually during the day they all vanish to sleep in their favorite locations. These days there’s always one nearby, watching me. It’s like they’re protecting me almost. Cats certainly are amazing critters.

I’ve given up food. Something else I just can’t force myself to bother to deal with. Between that and the sauna-like heat you’d think I’d be getting smaller. Ha! Never seems to work that way.

Oh but there is a silver lining to this ever-expanding black cloud that’s taken up residence above me. Saturday I discovered that when it’s that hot, 100+, it seems like my towels are heated.