Grumble, Grumble, Grumble

Years ago I was very foolish and allowed someone to move into my house.  Biggest mistake of my life.  The second biggest was permitting him to stay as long as I did.  But that’s not for today’s blog.

One morning I awoke to find the flooring I’d picked out and installed myself, the flooring I genuinely adored, the flooring that made me happy to see on a daily basis, had been replaced with the most butt ugly ick in my pretty white and pale pink kitchen.  Just the kitchen, not the dining room leading into it or the open panty on the far side of it.

My ex was on vacation that week and had stayed up all night, replacing the floor he decided was impractical for a kitchen.  (Yes, it was.  The whole white and pink kitchen was impractical but I liked it and it was my house.)  When I got up and was on my way to collect my lunch so I could go to work he waited in the living room for me to find it.

My reaction, as you can guess, was not at all what he was expecting.  Let’s just say that it’s a good thing I had to go to work that day.  He may not have survived if I’d had the day off too.  Especially after he attempted to use the argument that his ex-wife always liked when he did things like that to surprise her.

Ten years into our relationship and I was still being compared.  (Can’t tell you how often I suggested he should just go back since that was obviously where he wanted to be.  And no, I was not the other woman.  We met after they’d split up.)  Ten years and he was still entirely clueless about me.  Nope, didn’t ever bother to get to know me at all.

Today, ten years later, I scrubbed the offensive floor, not something I do all that often because it angers me all over again every time I do.  It’s still as butt ugly as it was the first day.  I may hate it even more since it’s starting to fade and now has a kind of sickly yellow cast to it.  If I look at it for too long it makes my skin crawl.

In case you’re wondering, no, I am not going to do the obvious and replace it.  There are far too many bad memories in this place for me to ever be able to make it mine again.  So for now I will deal with living here until I find a way to get out.  Still looking for that part time job.  Keep me in mind if you hear of one, okay?  And please, if you’re ever considering replacing a floor for someone as a surprise, ask yourself this.  Has the person you’re doing it for ever once given you any indication that the floor was in need of replacing.

Today's Rant

I am not a holiday person. I make no secret of that nor do I offer any apologies. I’ve not had good ones so, for now, I choose to pretty much avoid them, though there are those individuals I enjoy and visit on occasion. The same individuals I socialize with on days other than holidays. You see, for me, it’s not necessary for a certain day to roll around in order for me to spend time with friends and chosen family. I adore them all the time.

Today, I was given a lecture on all that I miss by not participating. All the things listed are not things that were ever included on my previous holidays. Seems to me it’s impossible for me to miss something that was never there in the first place.

Family gatherings growing up were not warm and fuzzy events. They were hours to be endured until I could make my escape. Something that should perhaps be learned about me and my past before criticizing me for not rushing to the old homestead bright and early this Thursday morn.

For all of you who do enjoy the holidays, I’m happy for you. The time when I can do the same will come. No, not this year but it is coming. But until it does, stop trying to coerce me into things that aren’t good. And stop putting me down for knowing what’s best for me and for protecting my heart from those who do their damnedest to squash it.

I may be home knitting the sweater I’m working on this Thanksgiving. Or I may venture out to see some of my adopted family. I may cook or I may order pizza. In the evening, I may watch a movie or I may read a book. Whatever I end up doing it will be of my choosing and something I enjoy. As to the rest of it? Leave me alone!

Way Too Much

I got a pack of cough drops the other day. Halls triple action cherry. Have you seen them recently?

The wrappers have changed. I guess they’re supposedly new and improved. They now have inspirational little sayings printed in the middle of a square of logos. Not just one per wrapper. No, there are multiple on each. Halls has even trademarked this, dubbing it “A Pep Talk in Every Drop”.

The sayings? Flex your “can do” muscle. Seize the day. Impress yourself today. Don’t waste a precious minute. Fire up those engines. Go for it. Don’t wait to get started. Be resilient. Dust off and get up. Buckle down and push forth!

Okay. Nothing really wrong with the message. We can all use a bit of encouragement from time to time. I’m just having a problem with it being supplied by my cough drop. I feel, I don’t know, bombarded? Assaulted? It’s just weird. And a little annoying. One tidbit per wrapper might not be so bad but several? No, thank you. Honestly, when I’m coughing my head off I don’t really care much about the wrapper or anything that may be printed on it. I simply want it to be easy to remove and the cough drop to work.