Follow Up - Reading Economic Recovery

The roaches are coming!

It hasn’t been officially announced but I just know it.  Yesterday one of the top stories in local news was that a development company from nearby York has purchased the last four acres in the Buttonwood Gateway redevelopment area.

The details are all very hush-hush.  All they’ve released is that the area will house a high tech company.  The project, once operational, will create 100 new, much-needed jobs for the city.  High paying jobs that include everything from sales to human resources to “anything else you can think of.”  (Insert strapping little electronic gizmos to the backs of humungous roaches.)

The CEO of the development company and the executive director of the Reading Redevelopment Authority both declined to name the tech company.  And Reading’s mayor signed a nondisclosure agreement which prohibited him from revealing the company when he formally announced the project at a press conference today.  It is reported however, that Mayor Spencer was a key factor in bringing the tech company to Reading.  His pitch to lure the company here did a fine job of illuminating the “city’s benefits.”  (Insert a readily available selection of different types of roaches, high unemployment including a contingent of illegal aliens.)

If that’s not enough to convince you that the tech company involves the first responder roaches I mentioned in a previous post then perhaps this will.  The development company’s owners include members of the rock band Live.  To me this means they aren’t your typical businessmen and might be more likely to be open to projects that are a bit out of the ordinary.

I’ll keep you posted as more information becomes available.

Regarding Yesterday's Post

I’ve had mixed reactions on my idea to help save Reading’s economy.  Some of the people I discussed it with in town today just don’t see it as a viable undertaking to make things better.

I don’t see why not.  We have plenty of idle workers.  We have plenty of roaches.  We have plenty of empty manufacturing space.  Heck, the roaches are probably already sitting there in the buildings just waiting to be harnessed. 

All we need are the folks with the technology to pick this city and we’re all set.  Perhaps I should go and present it at the next city council meeting.  Or maybe request some time with the mayor.  Reading used to be the Outlet Capital of the World.  Now we could be the Roach Capital, saving lives all over the planet.  Hmm.  Have to ponder on this one some more.

Happy weekend all.

Bringing Jobs to Reading, PA

I heard of a new industry during this morning’s news that I think would suit Reading perfectly.  The town can supply cockroaches for earthquake rescue teams.  Yes, that’s correct.  They are now testing the feasibility of using high tech-equipped roaches to search rubble in order to find people buried beneath it.  And, since Reading is brimming with roaches, it is the ideal location to set up a facility to fill this demand.

There’s an electrical engineer the North Carolina State University who is experimenting with this idea.  He attaches a mini backpack with fancy electrical gizmos that will direct the roaches in their search.  Basically he uses antennae and butt stimulators to send them scurrying in the direction desired.

Purportedly, the individuals buried will “shout for joy” when they see one of these natural robotic critters crawling towards them which will then, through the transmitters they carry, allow the first responders to locate the victims.

Okay, in theory I admit this is interesting.  Hopefully, it will save lives.  However, I have some concerns.  If I’m trapped and immobile, I seriously doubt I’d notice the teeny, weeny electrodes and only see the huge bugs, coming to be creepy-crawly on me while I can do nothing to prevent them.  The end result is screaming so I suppose that’s not a true problem.

Another is how invasive roaches are.  If they intend to utilize the varieties prevalent in Reading and introduce them to areas without the same species, won’t that eventually do damage to the environment?  The average lifespan of a cockroach is a year.  Try as they might, I suspect some will evade recapture once their mission is complete.

The third concern involves airline regulations and various import/customs laws around the world.  I’m not entirely positive but I’m sure some of them would frown upon the importing of huge roaches, no matter how good the cause or controlled they are.

In case you’re wondering, there is no need to fret over the amount of electric current used to zap the bugs into doing the rescuers’ bidding.  Roaches have no concept of pain.  While they do have sensors that direct their reflexes they do not have pain receptors.  Or so the folks attempting this say.

So, if cockroaches are to be the new age equivalent of the domesticated horses, oxen and other beasts of burden that were the boon to the development of ancient civilizations, I am all for Reading getting in on the bottom floor.  What other way to boost our city’s failed economy than by tapping into one of its natural resources?