Alrighty Then

Apparently the world is ending this Saturday. I don’t know about you but I think that means we don’t have to go in to work on Friday. I mean, really, who wants to spend their last full day at work? There’s not a job in the universe that’s that good.

I read a few articles about this event and I must admit that I’m slightly confused. One version informed me that the graves would all open up and the dead would rise, Christ first. Um, rise to where? Earth? Heaven? Does that mean all the souls of everyone who has ever been buried since the beginning of eternity have been waiting in limbo all this time? Seems kind of cruel to those considered deserving, doesn’t it?

First there’s going to be a world-wide earthquake of unimaginable proportions. After that happens the universe will be consumed by fire. Ah. So the entire universe is ending, not just the world. Good to know. I guess that means those floating around out in space on the Endeavor won’t have to worry about finding an alternate location to land.

Then there’s the discussion of having all your bills paid up, not wanting to leave them to your godless friends and relatives. Does that mean the universe is only ending for believers? Everyone else will be untouched by the fire? Interesting. As far as I’m concerned, if the world is going poof the credit card company is out of luck when it comes to what I owe them.

I am however, concerned for my furry friends. The folks predicting all this doom and gloom say pets don’t have souls so they won’t be going anywhere. There’s a service provided by 45 atheists who, for the small fee of only $135, will care for your pets after you’re burned up. Ooh, perhaps I could get in on that one, start a care center in my area. And there’s that only-those-who-are-true-followers-are-suffering-the-apocalypse thing again.

Something else about the whole pet issue doesn’t make much sense to me. The date, May 21, 2011, was calculated using the date of Noah’s Great Flood. Um, if Noah was to save pairs of all animals in existence, then why would the pets of believers be left behind now?

Yeah, this whole thing seems a little bogus to me. But, in case it’s not, I think I’ll take tomorrow off. Happy weekend, whatever there is of it.