Tuesday, October 11, 2011

All My Life

I’ve heard over and over, “Don’t forget to take your vitamins.” Only now there’s a new study that says multi-vitamins with minerals will shorten the lives of women who are of a certain age. But there’s a vitamin formulated specifically for these same women.

So do I take them or not? I haven’t reached the minimum age quoted in the study but I have taken vitamins most of my life. If I stop now am I safe? Or should I take them up until the day before I reach that age? Do they suddenly become lethal overnight? What to do, what to do?

Oh, here’s another idea. Is it a plot, generated by men who statistically have shorter life spans, trying to even things up? Are they paying the vitamin manufacturers to do away with us just because we live longer? Or have the mothers-in-law been getting on the nerves of the CEOs of major companies and this is their way of dealing with them? I’m sure there’s some sort of conspiracy here. I just know it.

Damn, still haven't found that sarcasm font.

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