Let's Play!

The Game – Stun ‘Em

The Venue – Any place with a fairly decent-sized crowd

Equipment Needed – One stun gun

Players – Two and up

The Objective – To stun random people publically without drawing attention to yourself

How to Play – Players alternate wielding the stun gun. A target is selected and assigned a degree of difficulty. The player with the stun gun approaches the target and zaps him without being observed. The player then immediately hands off the stun gun to another player, thus eliminating any possibility of being caught with it. Style points are awarded based on the target’s fall and landing with extra added for unusual injuries sustained. Bonus points can be earned based on the stunning player’s proximity to the security staff while aid is administered to the target. Maximum points are given for taking an active role in assisting security in determining what transpired.

A player is automatically disqualified and will be left to fend for himself upon being caught red-handed. The player with the most points at the end of the day wins the round.

Good luck and happy zapping!

What Did I Do?

Mangled memories and twisted truths
Altered to make life bearable
History rewritten to avert insanity
Yet I remember still
Deep inside reality lurks
The knowledge that I was never wanted
And once here, never chosen
Left to fend for myself
Not caring if I thrived
Not caring if I even survived
No attention paid
No notice given
Heart so cold no love extended
Overlooked at every turn
Abandoned without a thought
Left behind – a gouged out shell of confused sadness

Today's Lesson

Alright kiddies, today we’re going to talk about tea. Why? Because I recently rediscovered Taylors of Harrogate, one of the oldest independent family run importers of tea in Britain. A million years ago I spent some time in Harrogate and stumbling across their tea brought back a slew of memories. (Some of which can be found in my book, All Roads Lead to Ripon.) Taylors has been around since 1886. They began as tea importers, expanded to café owners and now handle coffee from around the world as well as tea.

There are thousands and thousands of varieties of teas but they all fall into three basic categories. Black, green, and white. The difference? They time of harvest and the way the leaves are processed.

Tea leaves are plucked from a hardy evergreen bush, camellia sinensis, by hand. Only the bud and top two leaves of a branch are used so this task is still performed by hand. For black tea, the freshly picked leaves are withered in warm room to remove much of the natural moisture. Then the leaves are rolled through machines which crush them. Next the leaves are permitted to ferment. This oxidization releases the essential oils and enzymes which darken the leaves and allows the flavor of the tea to develop. Finally, the tea is fired in very hot ovens, turning the leaves black, after which they are ready to be sorted and packaged.

Green tea starts out the same way but is not fermented. Because of this, the leaves are lighter and the flavor is milder. Taylors uses green tea leaves as a base for many of their blends because it mixes nicely with various fruits and herbs.

White tea also comes from the same bush but is plucked very early in the spring, always before the end of April. After that time the leaves are considered too old and will become either green or black tea. White tea only withers for twenty-four hours before drying and packing.

Tea is graded based on the size and coloring of the leaves and whether they are whole or broken. Each has its own specific characteristics that make it desirable to Taylors for use in the wide variety of products they offer. Charles Taylor, the company founder, noticed that variations in water supply could affect the quality of the brew and made it a priority to supply the most suitable blend of teas for each area in Britain. The family has carried on the tradition ever since.

I’ve sampled a wide variety of Taylors tea and have enjoyed it all. If you have the chance, pick some up and try it for yourself.

A Bit Off

Sorry. You’ll have to forgive me. I’m feeling a bit out of whack today. I’ve been having nightmares again. Last night’s were very disturbing and they’re still bothering me. That happen to you too? Dream something hurtful and then have a difficult time shaking off the feeling it leaves?

I woke up from round one and was very afraid of slipping right back into it as I do far too often. I might have had someone not chosen that moment to start shooting in the alley behind my house. Yeah, nothing like gun shots to distract you. It sounded like they were standing right at my fence. No, I didn’t get up to check. There wasn’t any yelling or sirens so I think they were shooting just for the heck of it and not at anyone in particular.

It took a long time to get back to sleep after that but I did. And then there was round two of the nightmares which were just as unsettling if not even more so as round one so I gave up trying to sleep. I’m tired but I survived. No one killed me last night. Not sleeping or awake. I suppose that’s a good thing.

Yep, It's Monday

I had a banana for lunch today. I eat them now and again because they are so good for you. But the truth is I hate bananas. I can sometimes tolerate them if they’re green enough to be crunchy. Then they don’t have much flavor, nor are they squishy. Today’s was closer to yellow than green and it was awful. I don’t mind them in banana bread. And I can even manage a piece of banana cream pie on occasion as long as there aren’t any sliced bananas in it. Plain though, they’re disgusting. I’m going to need something ultra yummy for dinner tonight to make up for it. A Cuban sammich might do it but there’s no place in Reading that makes really good ones. Oh, would anyone like a banana? I have a second one that I intended to eat tomorrow but there’s just no way.

I went for a walk in the cemetery yesterday. Other people go to visit friends and relatives. I go to wander among the trees. It was a perfect day for me, cool and misty. Okay, raining mostly but I enjoyed myself and my sneakers should be dried out by next weekend. I picked out a tree that I’d like to have, should I ever have a house with a yard big enough for a tree. Hopefully by then I’ll know what variety of tree it is. And I found some pretty flowers too.

I tried to go to the kite festival but as I said, it was raining. There were only a handful of people there, mostly standing around not flying their kites so I didn’t stay very long. Perhaps I’ll have my own kite festival. Anyone want to join me? Bananas will not be available so if you want one to snack on while you’re flying your kite you’ll need to supply your own. Maybe it’ll be a kite and barbecue event. Yep, I think grilled stuff would go well with kite flying, don’t you?

Legend

They come from the mist
Spawned in the shadows
Passing unseen by all save their next victim
Teeth bared
Snapping and snarling
First one
Then two
Followed by the hoard
No one knows what exactly they are
No one’s ever lived to tell
The legends have an idea though
Innocent children catch an occasional glimpse when they stray too close to the darkness
They are always, well, almost always, spared
The targets of choice are those evil to the core
Or so the legend goes
Truth?
Or perhaps a balm?
One to lessen the sense of impending doom for those on the fringes who must venture forth on certain dark nights
Fear not for there’s nothing you can do once they have you
Did you encounter them as a child?
Maybe they marked you then
Tagged you for future sport
Or have you done something?
Something secret?
Something so vile they can’t help but scent your tainted soul
Are your heinous deeds calling out to them?
Drawing them?
If so, beware
Your time is coming
Once you are within their sights there is no escape
They will track you
Maybe toy with you for an instant before they pounce
But when they get you, you are a ghost
They will tear you limb from limb
Shred your flesh
Crack open your bones
Feast upon your organs
Driven to a frenzy by the iron stench of your life blood
And the sounds!
Oh the sounds they make
There are no words
They are so petrifying they send anyone within hearing distance scurrying away as fast as their stubby legs can go
They’ve even been known to stop weaker hearts
Secondary victims dropped on the spot as they soil themselves in terror
So take care
Before you go out on that next dark and dreary night ask yourself
How tarnished are you?
Do you deserve to live?
Or would the violent death those of the mist hand out be a fitting end?
Listen
Listen closely
Do you hear the soft swish of them coming through the bushes?
The faint clack of claws on the pavement?
The gentle snorting as they pick up your trail?
They’re coming
Oh yes, they are coming
And you are next

Go Fly A Kite!

This Sunday. At the Berks County Parks Department’s official Go Fly A Kite! day. This event takes place at the Berks County Youth Recreation Facility on County Road from noon until five.

There’s a contest open to all ages with prizes for outdoor fun, most colorful, most imaginative, best ground display and best overall. There’s also a newspaper kite division in which all entrants must be constructed entirely of newspaper.

The local kite club, the Sky Pilots will be on hand to demonstrate all variety of kites both on the ground and in the air. There’ll also be refreshments and a hot air balloon appearance provided by Bloomin’ Balloons.

If you don’t have a kite already come out anyway. There will be stands with kites available to purchase plus people on hand to help you assemble them. Or you can just wander around and gawk at all the pretty kites floating above you. Either way, it’s sure to be a fun day!

Whew!

In the wee hours this morning a strike by the New York City doormen was averted when the union that represents them and the building owners association reached a last minute agreement. You’ll be as pleased as I am to know that the city’s most privileged tenants won’t be forced to take out their own trash.

The union president, which represents 30,000 workers at 3,200 buildings, is quoted as saying a fair agreement has been reached. He expects union members to sign the new contract within the next few weeks. So what does he consider fair? A four year contract with a nearly ten percent increase in wages and no benefit cuts. Um, yeah. Damn fair if you ask me.

I keep reading how the recession is over and things will begin to improve. Perhaps the doorman contract is indicative of that. From my standpoint however, it hasn’t trickled down far enough to make any difference at all yet. Here’s hoping…

Customer Service Lives

While I was out and about last weekend one of the places I stopped was an official T-Mobile store. Yes, I know. Hard to believe, considering how I’ve ranted about them in the past. But my experience in the store made up for a lot.

The salesgirl, Tameka was honestly helpful. Quit snickering, I’m serious. She was a very pleasant young woman who miraculously understands the concept of customer service, real, old-fashioned, assist the customer type customer service. She asked intelligent questions, made informed recommendations based on the answers and was knowledgeable about both the products and services offered by T-Mobile.

And later, when I returned to the store later for something else, she didn’t cringe or run away when she saw me. Yes, I admit it. I was misbehaving just a bit as we all know I do from time to time. But this charming individual handled it extremely well and was truly impressive throughout the entire time I spent with her.

I sincerely doubt that T-Mobile appreciates the treasure they have in Tameka and that’s too bad for them. She’s an asset to their company and trust me, they truly need her.

Stuff...

…to go, people to do, places to see. Wait, that’s not it. But you know what I mean so it’ll do.

Busy, busy, busy. Back tomorrow. Until then, look at the pretty picture.