Depressed

It wasn’t a bad day. Or it didn’t start out that way. There’s a mini daffodil blooming outside the window where I have my lunch so today I went out and sat with it. It was 68 and sunny. In March. So wrong but I’m dealing with it. The flower makes it worth it.

And then I got home to find a statement from my health insurance people. A few weeks ago I went off for a mammogram. I’m old and they tell me it’s necessary. Not fun but not the most awful experience ever.

My employer has us pay a portion of our insurance costs as just about everyone else who is employed does. On paper, it looks okay. Average. Could be better. It could also be much worse.

I opened the envelope and had to read it three times before it sank in. My routine test, a covered test, performed by an in-network provider is going to cost me $546.31. Yes, that’s correct. Not a typo. $546.31.

The mammogram was in preparation for my yearly check-up. Nothing fancy. Just the standard female stuff. I’ve already gone off and had it done. Now, after seeing that, I’m dreading the next envelope. Breaking out in a cold sweat just thinking about it. Getting more depressed and panicked by the minute.

But I went over to the corner bar for dinner anyway. Hey, everyone deserves a decent last meal. I see many, many more marshmallows in my future. I’ll have to stock up after Easter when the nummy flavors are on sale.