Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I Was Bad

After I realized what a remote hog my ex was and how incapable he was of letting me view something even as short as a half hour TV program, I started conveniently misplacing the remote. I’d turn on the channel I wanted to see and then tuck the remote away somewhere. While he spent the next however long the show was searching for it, I’d happily watch while making the occasional “Gee, I don’t know where it is, you had it last,” noises. After whatever I wanted to see was over, I’d slip the remote somewhere for him to find on his next circuit around the room.

When we switched cable services and added a second box upstairs I would sneak to the top of the steps every so often and change the channel on him. After he’d switch it back I’d wait and do it again. And again. Once he started complaining, I’d sneak back to my computer and pretend I’d been there the whole time. I’d let it alone for a few days, just long enough for him to forget and feel secure and then I’d repeat my little prank. I went so far as to have him swap boxes upstairs and down to prove the problem was the way he sat with the remote always in his hand and not the receiver.

I did the first for the entire fifteen years we lived together, the second for the last two. He never caught onto either. You know what? I really hope someone who knows him is reading this and tells him, just so he finally realizes that I’m not quite as stupid as he liked to think.

Note: For those of you who have expressed your concern over the last few days, thank you. It means so much to have your caring. I assure you I will be fine if you can just bear with me another month. The topamax that is causing my temporary insanity will hopefully alleviate my migraines and then I’ll be a happy girl even when it’s hot. Wow, what a concept…pain-free all year round!


Sandra Cox said...

Are you feeling better? I hope you are healthy and happy, very, very soon.
Loved what you did with the remote:) heh heh

Anny Cook said...

Hang in there, kid!

Regina Carlysle said...

Mmm. Pain free. Sounds pretty damn fine to me.

Now...we must talk. I love this prank. I haven't watched television with my husband in YEARS and this is because he is a selfish jerk about this stuff. It doesn't matter what I might be watching when he comes in the room. He takes the remote and changes the channel. He doesn't ask..the shithead. As a result, I watch tv somewhere else and everyone gets along but this is the coolest thing. I would love to do it. So brave and funny. I hope your ex finds out and realizes how BRILLIANT you are!

Amarinda Jones said...

I have said it before and I will say it again - you are just plain bad - mind you he was a wanker by the sound of it and deserved it and worse.

Yeah - we'll all hang in there with you

Molly Daniels said...

That's why we have 2 TV's:)

Ashley Ladd said...

I wonder if your ex and my hubby are twins. He's a remote hog, too. But if can't find the remote, he throws terrible temper tantrums and you'd think the world was ending. I'm so tired of him watching his cop shows all the time and changing things in the middle of me watching them.

That said, I loved what you did with the remote. If my hubby wouldn't start screaming at everyone as if we had tried to kill him, I'd try it.

Ashley Ladd said...

Why do men think they own the tv and that our wishes don't matter? I suspect it goes a lot deeper than just tv watching.

Kelly Kirch said...

LOLOL!!! I like the way you think.

J.J. Hebert said...

LOL...hiding the remote. You're a tricky lady!

Topamax Side Effects said...

My name is Melissa Dunn and i would like to show you my personal experience with Topamax.

I am 34 years old. Have been on Topamax for 4 weeks now. week 1- 25mg in PM, week 2- 50 mg in PM, week 3- 75mg in PM----still at 75mg and is working well. in the 1st week I had 4 migraines and I have not had a migraine since and I am doing well. I think I found a good dosage. I have lost 1 lb a week on Topamax, but that is not a negative side effect for me. I was on Relpax before and it worked well, but with insurance 6 pills were $30 and I was going thru 6 pills quickly.

I have experienced some of these side effects -
soda taste bad, tingling in toes and fingers, tired

I hope this information will be useful to others,
Melissa Dunn