I Was Bad

After I realized what a remote hog my ex was and how incapable he was of letting me view something even as short as a half hour TV program, I started conveniently misplacing the remote. I’d turn on the channel I wanted to see and then tuck the remote away somewhere. While he spent the next however long the show was searching for it, I’d happily watch while making the occasional “Gee, I don’t know where it is, you had it last,” noises. After whatever I wanted to see was over, I’d slip the remote somewhere for him to find on his next circuit around the room.

When we switched cable services and added a second box upstairs I would sneak to the top of the steps every so often and change the channel on him. After he’d switch it back I’d wait and do it again. And again. Once he started complaining, I’d sneak back to my computer and pretend I’d been there the whole time. I’d let it alone for a few days, just long enough for him to forget and feel secure and then I’d repeat my little prank. I went so far as to have him swap boxes upstairs and down to prove the problem was the way he sat with the remote always in his hand and not the receiver.

I did the first for the entire fifteen years we lived together, the second for the last two. He never caught onto either. You know what? I really hope someone who knows him is reading this and tells him, just so he finally realizes that I’m not quite as stupid as he liked to think.

Note: For those of you who have expressed your concern over the last few days, thank you. It means so much to have your caring. I assure you I will be fine if you can just bear with me another month. The topamax that is causing my temporary insanity will hopefully alleviate my migraines and then I’ll be a happy girl even when it’s hot. Wow, what a concept…pain-free all year round!