Thursday, April 8, 2010

This, That and Then Some

I feel like a flat-footed snerd. Migraine meds’ll do that to ya. That is after the screaming nightmares where the ceiling fan morphs into an attack gizmo with pointy spikes at the ends of razor-sharp blades to be released on a whim, looming above my head, swirling closer and closer and well, you get the idea. Yeah, it was one of those nights and no the meds only help with the migraine about thirty percent of the time. Last night was not part of that thirty percent.

So I have a question. Barophobia is the fear of gravity, right? Just agree. It really is. It is not a fear of bars or prisons or barometric pressure, trust me. How does one go about developing such a fear? And how do you know you have it? Better still, once you have it, what do you do to get over it?

Alektorophobia is fear of chickens. Now that’s just plain silly. Yes, chickens can be nasty little suckers but little is the operative word here. As long as you’re not wearing flip-flops you can drop kick them across the yard no problem so what’s the big deal? Unless they gang up on you which they’ve been known to do. So if you’re going somewhere where you might end up in a swarm of bloodthirsty chickens better be safe and take along your trusty hatchet because it’s well known that all chickens everywhere understand the significance of a hatchet and will steer clear of you.

Now something that sounds the same but is vastly different is electrophobia. Yes, it’s what you’d guess it is and I have a mild case of that. Oh, I can turn on light switches and such. I have a little trouble replacing outlets even after I’m sure the power is off to the entire house though I have managed to do it on multiple occasions. I just haven’t been happy about it. Isn’t that funny, considering my absolute love of electrical storms? Hmm, wonder what that means? I adore raw electricity with a passion and have no qualms about standing on a high roof in the middle of a non-stop thunderstorm but can’t bring myself to test a 9 volt battery on my tongue?

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