Thursday, January 28, 2010

In The News

PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, have sent a letter to Punxatawney Phil’s handlers recommending they Use a robotic groundhog as a stand-in for Phil in the upcoming festivities. PETA’s entertainment specialist suggested retiring Phil and his cronies to a sanctuary rather than letting them live on in the Punxatawney library. He says tradition if no excuse for cruelty. The president of the Punxatawney Groundhog Club responded that the whole idea of a mechanical groundhog is blasphemous. When asked, he wouldn’t predict whether he thought Phil would see his shadow or not but did offer that he’s had enough of both winter and the folks at PETA.

Recently an experiment was undertaken by Stanford University to determine the feasibility of a drive-through medical clinic. Patients would queue up in their cars to have doctors lean in their window in order to take their blood pressure, listen to breathing and discuss symptoms. The test showed that instead of a typical 90 minute wait in a traditional clinic, a drive-through exam only took an average of 26 minutes. The researchers declared the trial a success, stating that during a pandemic this type of clinic could expedite seeing a large number of patients with a lower risk of spreading disease.

On the local crime scene – upon release for a minor offense the suspect stole a police SUV parked outside the station. He then led police, once they noticed it missing, on a brief chase which ended with him being zapped by a stun gun and wrestled out of the car. So he’s gone from a misdemeanor charge with a $300 fine to being sent to jail, bail set at $500,000, with felony charges of theft, receiving stolen property, obstructing administration of law and related offenses. But, in his defense, the car was unlocked and the keys were poking out from the visor.

In another local incident, a man tapped on the window of a delivery truck while stopped at a red light and informed the driver he’d like to rob him. The driver pulled away and notified police once he arrived at his next stop. When police went to investigate, the would-be robber had moved onto a convenience store located on the corner at the same intersection where he was witnessed urinating on the gas pumps and then trying to break into an employee’s car. It took three officers to take the man into custody, two of which were treated and released at a local hospital.

And last, but not least, some celebrity news. Actor Kiefer Sutherland was allegedly scammed in a recent cattle deal. He purportedly gave money to a man who was to purchase steers in Mexico and then resell them in the United States for a profit. Sutherland is reported to have lost his $869,000 investment when the man he gave it to failed to buy any cattle. He did sell some though, however the beasts he sold never actually belonged to him.

No comments: