Monday, May 24, 2010

Conspiracies


In the past week I’ve literally picked gallons and gallons of strawberries from my tiny little nothing of a yard. Gorgeous berries the size of plums. I figure they’re so pretty because the yard spirits are tending them as a favor since I haven’t yanked out any of the plants even though I have no space left for flowers. I left them out on the kitchen counter over the weekend and ate a few every time I had to go see what Beau was up to. Nummy but I am not much of a strawberry person.

What I was really waiting for was the ice cream truck to come by so I could slice some in to vanilla soft serve. Naturally it didn’t. No, it never does when I want it to. It only shows up when I have no desire for anything offered. I’m beginning to suspect this is intentional. It’s been suggested I go out to Dairy Queen but that would required getting dressed to go out in public and I’m not sure I’m that interested. Yes, I know the ice cream truck stops in the street but as long as I’m within fifteen feet of my front door it doesn’t count as out in public. Besides, the neighbors are all used to my at home attire by now anyway.

I attempted to do some online banking over the weekend. I signed up for it because I was tired of listening to the constant pitches whenever I went to the bank. Well, not only that. I really don’t enjoy going to the bank so it also sounded like a pretty good deal. Only when I tried to move money I got a flashing notice declaring that I’ve reached my Reg D limit and the transaction couldn’t be completed. Fortunately the bank was still open and I could call to ask what that meant. As it turns out the government will only allow banks to accept a set number of electronic transactions per account per month, after which you must show up in person to complete them. Kind of eliminates the whole advantage to online banking, doesn’t it?

I asked but the very patient girl who got stuck with me had no explanation as to why there’s a cap on such things. I’m sure I could do some research into this and find out a lot more about it but I suspect it would be very dull and probably not provide a sensible answer anyway so I don’t think I’ll bother.

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