Curious

At lunch today I read the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Yes, I use the term “read” loosely because there were very few actual words within it. Why, you might ask, did I bother? Because it was there.

First, let me say that the models are beautiful. I have no problem with the way they were photographed. What I do find annoying is how the magazine pretends to be promoting the swimsuits. They list the manufacturers and prices in teeny tiny print next to each pose. However, the suits are not visible in many of the shots. Nor are they always on the models. Sorry, if I’m going to spend up to $300 on a few little scraps of fabric, or someone is going to purchase it for me under the false impression that I will then look like the model in the magazine, I’d like to be able to see what it truly looks like on, not how small of a ball it can be scrunched up into when I remove it and hide behind the nearest palm frond.

Then there are the locations. They took the models to wonderful places. Fiji, the Virgin Islands, Singapore, Banff, Laguna Beach. Pretty places, all. Of course you’d never know that by the photographs. No, the majority of what they show could have been taken in a sandbox or a kiddie pool in my backyard. You’d never know the difference when all you see is a sultry smile, breasts popping out from behind strings, flowing hair and some sand on forearms.

I know, I know the point of this issue is not the scenery or the swimming suits. I’m just saying… And why, in the pics where they've double photographed the photographer working, is he also half covered with sand?

Oh, I also “read” a GQ. There were 62 pages of ads before I got to the table of contents. If anyone’s seen the latest issue, please contact me. There are a handful that I haven’t been able to decipher what they’re attempting to sell and I’m curious. Perhaps you could explain them to me.