Monday, July 6, 2009

Need A Loan?


Go to Latvia. You can get one there. Instantaneously. Without any credit checks. They promise right on the application not to send creditors to harass you, should you default. They don’t even require your last name.

It’s simple. You can get up to $500, no questions asked for up to 90 days. Yes, the interest rate is high. But so what? Sometimes, that could mean the difference between surviving and not.

Oh, almost forgot. There is a certain collateral they demand. No, not your house or your car or anything else traditional. This particular organization asks you sign a promissory note for only one thing and they guarantee they’ll extract it painlessly, should it come to that.

What is it already, you ask? Your immortal soul.

In other news there is a man in India who killed himself while fishing with dynamite. He blew off his right hand and his head. His body was found later. Um, so his head was found first? And how exactly do you manage to blow your head off, literally? Your hand, yes but your head? Unless he was holding the dynamite in his mouth while needing both hands to light it, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

And last, those of you in Colorado can rest easy now. The state government repealed a very serious law last week. It is no longer illegal to collect rainwater for use on your own property. I wonder how many rain barrel inspectors this move put out of work.

No comments: