Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Saga


T-Mobile

My new best friends. Not. Though they should be after spending so much time speaking to them yesterday. Apparently the troubles I’m having are not related to the total network crash. It’s an intermittent texting issue that, yes, they know about but, no, they haven’t figured out how to eliminate yet. Leave it to me, right?

It started with Tony who said a $20 credit is nice but you’d rather communicate with your friends. Now how would you take that? You’d think it meant you were getting a $20 credit, wouldn’t you? Ha! Silly, silly, silly. Tony said he would troubleshoot me and see what was up. Did he?

Hell if I know. I got kicked back into the hold queue and let me tell you. Their choice of music is intentional torture meant to goad you into hanging up so they don’t have to deal with you. After another 20 minute wait, yeah, I was determined, I ended up with Emily. Poor Emily was the one who informed me of Tony’s little exaggeration on the credit. A service interruption is only worth $5. Did you hear that, anyone with T-Mobile? Call them, listen to horrendous tunes and you’ll get $5 off your next bill. Tell them I sent you. Anyway Emily said I was disconnected from the network. Oh no! She said I should hang up and she’d do her mumbo-jumbo magic to fix it. She promised to call me back within 5, that’s f-i-v-e, minutes. Twenty-four hours later and I’m still waiting. Oh and she did tell me to turn my phone off and back on and then text myself to see if it went through. Yup. BFD! I see no advantage to being able to text me. If I have something to say to me I’ll just say it and not bother with the phone.

Enter Matthew, after my third on-hold torture session. I never knew I was such a masochist but I’m beginning to wonder. Matthew was appalled that neither Tony, not Emily fixed my problem. Why, there was a bright red alert light flashing on my account! Imagine that. I think it’s pretty and they like the way it looks so they wanted it to stay there. He mentioned that my account was showing internal texting was functional, no duh, but external was disconnected. He had me shut off my phone, pushed his big, magic button, turn it back on and viola! It worked. For a few minutes. And then nothing. Again.

Sigh. Blaring noise and hello Tameka. Do you know she actually had the nerve to tell me to have a pleasant evening after saying there was absolutely nothing she could do for me except put me back on hold and pass me on to someone else? I’m not kidding. She really did. Four hours and the fourth person after I started my fruitless quest and she tells me to have a pleasant evening. Sheesh. Nervy of her, wasn’t it?

Another loooooong wait and I end up with Alicia. She’s tech support, not regular customer service. I bemoan my saga yet again and she decides it’s interesting since everything on my account looks just fine. I guess Matthew got rid of the pretty red light. Kind of like tapping over a trouble light on your dashboard I suspect. Alicia went through the same procedure he did, just to make sure and while I was trying to test if it worked she talked to the advanced tech guys who told her to fill out a ticket, see the reason at the top. She returned with a test phone and proceeded to text back and forth a few times with me. Worked with her, not with the friend I’d been trying to talk to. So somewhere out there in T-Mobile headquarters is a phone I can communicate with. Whoopdedoo! Isn’t that special? Yes, I admit it. I was a tad sarcastic with Alicia who, although it was after 10 PM by then, kept her cool and stuck with what she was supposed to say. But really, can you blame me?

Bottom line, the advanced tech guys have 72 hours to address my problem and my life is worth a credit of 50 cents a day for all the time the service is non-functional. I have a ticket number should I decide to subject myself to more of their tunes in order to call and ask about it. Actually Alicia turned out to be okay. She’s giving up her phone for 72 hours along with me so I’m not alone in my isolation. I did, however, allow her one exception and that’s only if she goes into labor since she’s 9 months pregnant. Too bad she won’t be able to let me know too since, unfortunately, MY PHONE DOESN’T WORK!!!

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