Years ago I worked in a less than savory section of Reading. I used to walk at lunch. Back then I was a bit bolder than I am now. Or perhaps now I know better?
Anyway, my solution to the very real possibility of being mugged in broad daylight as so often occurred in that neighborhood was to carry a spoon. Yes, that’s correct, a spoon. An ordinary, average teaspoon. I think it was one I’d received free in the mail, one of those offers to buy a whole set.
When approached by any potential hoodlums, I would stop, extend my arm to full length, spoon in hand, look them square in the eye and announce as seriously as I could that I had a spoon. Then I would wait expectantly for their response. Sometimes, if they looked exceptionally horrified I’d go a step farther and ask if they wanted to hold my spoon, just to mess with them. Occasionally one would tell me it was a nice spoon or something equally inane. More often than not the individuals decided I was not someone they wanted to approach and would back away.
I must admit it was quite a challenge maintaining a straight face until they were far enough away so as not to hear me burst out into fits of laughter. I’m probably lucky to be alive. Personally, I believe it’s all in the attitude. As I see it anyone who would so proudly display a cheesy spoon wouldn’t have anything worthy stealing anyway. Who knows? My spoon might have even earned me their protection since I only had to show it a few times before everyone along the blocks I walked became friendly and started chatting with me. I guess they decided I was someone that needed looking after.
Anyway, my solution to the very real possibility of being mugged in broad daylight as so often occurred in that neighborhood was to carry a spoon. Yes, that’s correct, a spoon. An ordinary, average teaspoon. I think it was one I’d received free in the mail, one of those offers to buy a whole set.
When approached by any potential hoodlums, I would stop, extend my arm to full length, spoon in hand, look them square in the eye and announce as seriously as I could that I had a spoon. Then I would wait expectantly for their response. Sometimes, if they looked exceptionally horrified I’d go a step farther and ask if they wanted to hold my spoon, just to mess with them. Occasionally one would tell me it was a nice spoon or something equally inane. More often than not the individuals decided I was not someone they wanted to approach and would back away.
I must admit it was quite a challenge maintaining a straight face until they were far enough away so as not to hear me burst out into fits of laughter. I’m probably lucky to be alive. Personally, I believe it’s all in the attitude. As I see it anyone who would so proudly display a cheesy spoon wouldn’t have anything worthy stealing anyway. Who knows? My spoon might have even earned me their protection since I only had to show it a few times before everyone along the blocks I walked became friendly and started chatting with me. I guess they decided I was someone that needed looking after.
4 comments:
Thanks for my biggest, hugest laugh of the day!!! I can visualize this and it scared me. LOL
You are bloody insane yet I can see that working...only you B
Oh, I like this! May I use this in my book? Please? It's perfect!
Sure Anny, as long as you know I may use it at some point as well then go for it. Somehow I doubt we'd use it in exactly the same way so I suspect it'll be fine.
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