Thursday, April 17, 2008

More Helpful Hints from MacGyver

Today, in addition to a lot of chemical mumbo-jumbo I'll never use or even remember, I learned how to start a car with a dead battery. Take off the plastic gizmos to uncover the terminals and pour vinegar on top of the battery. Something about the acidity of the vinegar makes any remaining electric charge flow more easily, thus enabling the car to start.

I also learned how to make an arc welder out of a car battery, jumper cables and two quarters. You need the quarters because of the copper cores dipped in nickel. The narrow edge concentrates the charge and makes the current flow in a more directable manner. Put the quarters in the cable ends not attached to the battery. Get them close enough together to create an electrical arc but do not let them touch.

Okay, both of these are all well and good except for one small problem. I'm about the biggest wuss in the universe when it comes to electricity. I was petrified of replacing the doorbell even though I was assured I would barely notice if I bumped the wires together. I'm too scared to test a 9-volt battery on my tongue (or any other moist portion of my anatomy!) The mere thought of holding live jumper cables and focusing the resulting charge in an attempt to fuse some hunks of metal is nearly enough to make me pee in my pants. That's honestly how afraid I am of electricity. Hopefully if one of my heroines is ever in a bind where this may come in handy she'll have much more nerve than I do.

AJ - To break out of a meat locker, remove one of the hanging hooks. Use the attaching end to detach the screws on the door handle. Knock out the door handle. Find something to collect water in. Use the overhead lightbulb to melt some ice, probably formed on the tips of your fingers by this point. Pour the water into the door handle hole. It'll run into the lock. Wait for it to freeze because as it does, it will expand and break said lock. Once broken, kick open the door. Yeah, okay, several flaws in this one as far as I'm concerned but it worked for MacGyver and you're a kick-ass woman so I have faith in you to rescue us next time we happen to be trapped in a meat locker together.

Tomorrow's lesson - breaking and entering. Finally, something useful!


LynTaylor said...

Geez, learn something new every day. I thought Meat Lockers hung in trees LOL! Oh no, I'm thinking of a meat safe.

Amarinda Jones said...

I want this book and the meat locker thing sounds totally doable to me. I always carrying a pocket knife in my handbag so I reckon if I am trapped with that I don't need the meat hook. Actually I could save myself from what's in my handbag alone

jk said...

I can attest to the fact that she does not like electricity! I tried and tried!