Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Just Because


Ever have a day when you have a strong urge to just walk out of your own life? That’s the kind of day I’m having today. I’m restless for absolutely no reason. Nothing new has gone wrong. Nothing’s changed significantly. No one’s harassing me. I like my job. Overall I like my life. I just don’t want to be a part of it today.

Don’t worry, I’ll still be here tomorrow. I may not want to be but I will. I go through this from time to time, always without cause. It seems to be just how I am. That’s part of the reason I have my cats. To keep me grounded. Without them, it would be much easier to run away from home. With them, I force myself to remain responsible in ways that merely owning a home does not. A house is just a building. The inanimate things within it are just that, things. Sure I like my things and would miss having some of them but really there isn’t anything I couldn’t exist without.

The feeling began last evening. I spent much of my night considering where I would go and what I would do. My decision? There wasn’t one. Usually I form a vague plan when I get like this. Not this time. I would simply leave and figure out where I was going when I got there. I think I’d be able to survive just fine. I’m not useless. I could come up with something to do to support myself. Yes, I’m certain of that. Still, it’s probably a good thing I’m not independently wealthy at the moment.

So what would you do if you suddenly decided to trade in your life for a new one? Have you ever wanted to do that or is it just me? What stops you?

3 comments:

Ashley Ladd said...

Hope you feel better today.

Congrats on being in Scarlet magazine. I got my copy yesterday and it's fab, isn't it?

What's this about an EC convention? I'm an EC author and missed that news.

Amarinda Jones said...

I have wanted to do just that. I often think I would like to go back to travelling aimlessly around the world working for money and then moving on. Those days were so free. I had nothing but my passport and clothes. That freedom was priceless.

Anny Cook said...

Have I ever felt that way? Are you kidding? That's a weekly event. I suppose it's a good thing that I don't have a car at my disposal. My dream is to just get in and start driving. Sigh.